Coworker’s Deception Sparks Tension in Office Dynamics
A recent inquiry to the advice column “Dear Abby” has highlighted workplace tensions stemming from perceived inequities among employees. A reader, identified as “Tangled Web” from New Mexico, expressed frustration over a coworker, “Erin,” who has been working remotely since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic while the rest of the team has returned to the office. This disparity has led to feelings of resentment among colleagues, who feel that Erin’s absence has created an imbalance in their work environment.
The situation escalated when Tangled Web discovered that Erin had accepted a new job but had not informed their supervisor due to concerns about the boss’s reaction. Feeling compelled to act, Tangled Web disclosed Erin’s job change to their manager, despite Erin’s request for confidentiality. This revelation has left Tangled Web grappling with feelings of guilt and uncertainty regarding the ethical implications of their actions.
In response, Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, stated that the decision to inform the boss was not deceitful but rather a demonstration of loyalty to the company. She noted that in some jurisdictions, such as California, Erin’s actions could potentially warrant termination, as she was effectively taking on another role while still employed.
Another letter from a reader in Michigan, referred to as “Memory-Ridden,” addressed a different concern. This individual, nearing 70, reported experiencing vivid recollections of past conversations and decisions, often wishing they had responded differently. Van Buren advised that if this reminiscence is consuming leisure time, it may be beneficial to redirect those thoughts and focus on learning from past experiences rather than dwelling on them. She suggested that if these memories lead to feelings of anxiety or depression, consulting a mental health professional might be worthwhile.
In a separate inquiry regarding etiquette, a reader from the Midwest sought clarification on a claim made by a Catholic priest that crossing one’s legs during Mass is disrespectful. Van Buren acknowledged that while this might hold true in certain cultures, it is not a commonly accepted norm in North America. She indicated that while crossing legs is not considered taboo, it may be viewed as too casual for a church setting.
These letters reflect a range of personal and interpersonal challenges faced by individuals in diverse situations, underscoring the complexities of workplace dynamics and personal relationships. “Dear Abby,” a long-standing advice column founded by Pauline Phillips and currently written by her daughter, continues to offer guidance on navigating these nuanced issues.
Readers can reach out to “Dear Abby” through their website at www.DearAbby.com or via traditional mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
