Navigating Dinner Etiquette: Expert Advice on Food Allergies and Drink Choices
Dining with friends or acquaintances can present challenges, particularly when food allergies or drink preferences come into play. A recent set of inquiries directed to Miss Manners offers insights into how to handle these sensitive situations gracefully.
Addressing Food Allergies with Hosts
One reader expressed concern about managing food allergies while dining at others’ homes. They explained that, while they can navigate their allergies at home or in restaurants, attending a dinner at someone else’s residence poses unique difficulties. When a host reveals their menu in advance and it contains no suitable options, the individual faced a dilemma: Should they attend and make do with small portions, or decline the invitation altogether?
Miss Manners reassured the reader that it is entirely appropriate to mention food allergies to a host, even if they do not inquire directly. She emphasized that the potential inconvenience of modifying a menu is minor compared to the serious repercussions of neglecting a guest’s health needs. The expert advises that informing the host of one’s allergies prior to the meal is not only reasonable but also a responsible course of action.
Handling Drink Orders on Group Outings
Another inquiry involved the complexities of group dining while traveling. A reader described a scenario where they invited three companions to share a bottle of wine during a group tour. While all four individuals were not abstaining from alcohol, one traveler opted for a soda instead. The reader felt uncertain about their obligation to cover the cost of the soda.
Miss Manners clarified that while “obligation” may seem like a strong word, the assumption that the reader was treating their companions to a round of drinks was reasonable. The decision of one guest to order a non-alcoholic beverage should not be viewed as a breach of etiquette. Paying for the soda, which could have been ordered for various personal reasons, was considered a gracious gesture.
Should the guest have chosen a more expensive cocktail, Miss Manners suggested that it would have been kind to accommodate that choice as well, although it may have warranted the guest offering to contribute to the cost. Ultimately, the expert noted that the value of maintaining amicable relationships far outweighs the financial considerations of accommodating a friend’s change of preference.
For more queries on etiquette or to seek advice, interested readers can contact Miss Manners through her website at www.missmanners.com, via email at [email protected], or by postal mail at Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
